The Clinton Herald, Clinton, Iowa

Lifestyles

October 8, 2012

Roger Moore's Bond had serious fun

"I never do this," David Horowitz, a public relations executive for ABC, said as he picked up British actor Roger Moore at Kennedy Airport. "Can I have your autograph for my son?"

It was 1986, and Moore was in New York City to do some publicity for the network. A year earlier, he had starred, at age 58, in "A View to a Kill." It was his last James Bond film but also the first that Horowitz's son saw in the theaters. In that movie, Moore's 007 takes on Christopher Walken, an evil genius/rogue KGB operative/Nazi-experiment-gone-awry who flies around in a blimp, out of which he sometimes drops people. Moore, alternating between black and white tuxedos, Paris and San Francisco, does recon at a horse track, skis, and has a chiaroscuro sex scene with Grace Jones before saving Silicon Valley and ending up safely in a shower with yet another woman. All of this capped by a theme song performed by Duran Duran.

That combination made a profound impression on Horowitz's 8-year-old son, for whom the notion of a secret agent man who never overly exerted himself proved just as healthy a role model as an all-star first baseman who smoked in the dugout. So when Horowitz returned home to Queens after a day of shepherding Moore around the city, it caused a stir when he produced from his weather-beaten briefcase a signed promotional headshot of Moore, himself looking rather weather-beaten, with crow's feet around his eyes, a rogue's smile on his mouth, an unbuttoned white collar on his neck and rugged furrows in his Hollywood-tanned brow. The picture was quickly framed and hung above the light switch in young Horowitz's room. For years to come, a flicking on of the light revealed a scrawl on the glossy's upper right-hand corner that read, "To Jason, With my best wishes, Roger Moore."

Reader, we have bylines for a reason. I, Horowitz, Jason Horowitz, was that boy. And Moore was my Bond. What follows, in honor of the 50th anniversary of the franchise, is a defense of why Moore's Bond — slightly geriatric, addicted to eyebrow raising, caddish to a fault — was, despite all evidence to the contrary, the greatest 007.

Let's start with his strangest movie, 1973's "Live and Let Die," a James Bond blaxploitation flick starring Yaphet Kotto ("Names is for tombstones, baby"), but more memorably, a recurring redneck sheriff character and the baritone-voiced actor most famous for calling 7-Up the marvelous uncola. History's other Bonds, which at the time really meant Sean Connery, would have seemed out of place in this 1970s hallucination. Moore fit right in. He put the moves on Jane Seymour by raising his eyebrows as high as his co-stars' afros.

By then, Moore was already 45 years old and on the third of his four marriages. He had served in the Royal Army Service Corps. He had appeared in movies with names like "Trottie True" and "One Wild Oat." He had worked as a male model for knitwear ("The Big Knit" they called him) and played James Garner's Brit cousin in "Maverick." He had become famous in 1962, as the spy Simon Templar in "The Saint," reruns of which aired on Channel 11 during those acres of home-sick airtime between kung fu movies and "The Godfather." He had been a playboy detective opposite Tony Curtis in a show that apparently did better in Germany, where they dubbed the dialogue with a different script. He had already tasted, in other words, a healthy portion of life.

As a result, anyone watching could sense that Moore's Bond cared more about the gadgets and the girls than the mission. Roger Moore seemed to know that trying to control the mission was futile. You just had to go with it and smile. Look what happened to poor, serious-looking George Lazenby when he made Diana Rigg Mrs. Bond: She got shot by Blofeld, and Lazenby got banished to the bordello known as cable's "Emmanuelle" series.

In Moore's movies, there is none of the realistic grit or psychological tension bookended by Connery and Daniel Craig, or the trying-too-hard of Pierce Brosnan and Timothy Dalton. Who else but Moore could accidentally inhale some treasure out of a belly dancer's belly button, make a funny face and then get into a fist/karate-chop fight. Sure, he sometimes missed the face of a guy who nevertheless went flying from the phantom punch. But once you bought in, that was a whole lot better than watching the expensive explosions that have destroyed many latter-day Bond movies.

In Moore's best film, "The Man With the Golden Gun," you got duels and Tattoo from "Fantasy Island." In "The Spy Who Loved Me," you got a sexy spy named Triple X and a villain with steel teeth named Jaws. "Moonraker" featured Epcot trains and the return of Jaws, but as a good guy. In "For Your Eyes Only," I don't remember, but that's okay! There's no guilt in Mooreland! In "Octopussy," my favorite, knife-throwing circus twins and Faberge eggs played pivotal roles. Take Roger Moore out of these, replace him with someone with more stable eyebrows and something shaking or stirring under the surface, and the amusement is sapped.

Moore saved his sense of purpose for real life. A veteran humanitarian, he is currently speaking out in London against foie gras. But I'm happier that he is out promoting his third book about being Bond and starring in something called "An Evening with Sir Roger Moore." On Oct. 14, his 85th birthday, he'll be appearing at the Rose Theater in Kingston, England. If you are in the neighborhood, you should go. Chances are it won't be brilliant, but it will be fun.

Text Only
Lifestyles
  • Event to benefit cultural center CLINTON -- The third annual 5K run/walk to benefit the St. Irenaeus Cultural Center will be held Memorial Day. The "When the Saints Go Marchin' In" starts at 8 a.m. Monday outside of St. Irenaeus at 2811 N. Second St. Runners and walkers can register

    May 21, 2013

  • CCC grad 1 Clinton CC students celebrate graduation CLINTON -- Community members piled into the W. J. Yourd Gymnasium on Monday for the 65th Clinton Community College graduation ceremony. "This is kind of a culmination of the work that we do with our students," CCC President Karen Vickers said. "We ar

    May 14, 2013 1 Photo

  • Police Academy Citizen police academy produces largest class CLINTON -- More than 30 people recently graduated from the annual Citizen Police Academy. Clinton Community College hosted the graduation ceremony involving 31 residents for 18th academy. This is the largest graduating class ever. Graduates included

    May 13, 2013 1 Photo

  • iPad 2 Apple's iPad2 heart risk found in research by 14-year-old

    Gianna Chien's study — which found that Apple's iPad2 can, in some cases, interfere with life-saving heart devices because of the magnets inside — is based on a science fair project that didn't even win her first place.

    May 10, 2013 1 Photo

  • Kids_eating_class-_sent_by_PR_person_medium.jpg The connection between breakfast and academic achievement

    Most people know it's hard for children to pay attention in school without eating breakfast. But now a team of researchers has found out why that is.

    May 10, 2013 1 Photo

  • 5-9-13 CAST photo CAST gearing up for shows, season of education CLINTON -- While many are aware the Clinton Area Showboat has been providing professional summer stock theater for many years, organizers say that what is perhaps less commonly known is that one of the non-profit CAST organization's goals is to share

    May 9, 2013 1 Photo

  • Things to do Ongoing •?Clintonish Knitters meet Thursdays from 5:30 to 7 p.m. and Saturdays between 9 and noon. There is no fee for this group. Stitchers share techniques and the love of knitting or crocheting. Meetings are at Clinton's St Paul's Lutheran Church

    May 8, 2013

  • 5-7-13 Tammy Meyer RSVP's Meyer to receive Human Rights Award CLINTON -- The Clinton Human Rights Commission has announced that Tammy Meyer of RSVP has been selected to receive the ninth annual Clinton Human Rights Commission Award. This award is an "Acknowledgement of persons/groups who embody the spirit of h

    May 7, 2013 1 Photo

  • CCC graduation is May 13

    CLINTON -- Clinton Community College will host the 65th commencement ceremony Monday, May 13, at W. J. Yourd Gymnasium beginning at 6 p.m.

    May 7, 2013

  • DSC_1134.JPG SLIDESHOW: Dutch Days festival

    Much-anticipated rain held off Saturday for the annual Dutch Days festival in Fulton, Ill., which was celebrating its 39th year of highlighting Dutch heritage.

    May 6, 2013 1 Photo

Clinton Herald Photos


Browse, buy and submit pictures with our photo site.

Community Calendar
Loading…
Events by eviesays.com
AP Video
Featured Comment
Front page
Poll

Do you think the city of Clinton should be in the solid waste business?

Yes
No
     View Results
Featured Ads
Local Radar
Blue Zones Project
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Front page